informed: the new normal
a resource page for teens (& anyone else who needs to know)
"But everyone’s doing it…"
"I’m the only one of my friends who’s still a virgin. Should I just get it over with?"
"I love my partner, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go all the way yet."
"I don't want to have sex. Is there something wrong with me?"
In today’s society, it seems like virgin has become a dirty word.
Sometimes it can feel like everyone is either having sex or wants to have sex. And while being a virgin may make you feel conspicuous, studies show that most teens would actually rather wait for meaningful intimacy in a relationship than rush into sexual activity.
Only about 42% of high school teens have had sex.
That means that OVER HALF OF ALL HIGH SCHOOLERS ARE NOT HAVING SEX.
The percentage refraining from sex even increases the younger you are. (Only about 30% of teens under 17 have had sex, as opposed to 60% of 18-19 year olds.)
It’s okay not to have sex. In fact, not having sex can actually be a really good idea! Waiting until you’re ready for sex is an essential way to protect your body and your emotions. Not having sex keeps you out of risk for getting an STI (sexually transmitted infection,) and despite advancements in birth control, abstinence is the only 100% effective method to prevent pregnancy.
Aside from the physical aspect, not having sex can save you a world of pain emotionally. Some 63% of sexually active teens wish they had waited longer to have sex, either until they knew their partner better or were better able to deal with the physical and psychological repercussions.
Consider the following:
• 68% of boys 15-18 said that they “could be happy in a serious relationship that doesn’t involve sex.”
• 75% said they’d rather “wait to loose their virginity with someone they love”
• 85% said they “have more respect for girls who stop a hook-up if they aren’t ready”
• 93% Of all teens 15-17 said they “don’t think it’s embarrassing for teens to admit they are virgins”
There are many reasons teens choose not to have sex. Here are some of the main reasons teens say they're waiting:
* Pregnancy and STI prevention 50%
* Religion, morals, or values 26%
* Haven’t found the right partner 9%
* Not ready for sex 5%
* Other 10%
Whatever your particular reason is, it’s perfectly valid! Sexual activity is a very important decision that you, and only you, can make.
Am I Ready for Sex?
Further Resources:
If You Loved Me by Marilyn Reynolds
Racially mixed seventeen-year-old Lauren, the daughter of drug users, is pressured to have sex with her boyfriend and questions her promise to herself to stay a virgin until she is married.
Success Before Sex by Sharnice A Jones
Written by a 17 year old high school senior, this book examines the act and consequences of sex, and why personal success should take priority in our lives.
No Sex in the City: One Virgin's Confessions of Love, Lust, Dating & Waiting by Lindsey Isham
'No Sex in the City' is the brutally honest and often hilarious story of Lindsey's quest for sexual purity in the face of an impure culture, baffled peers, and sexual desire.
It’s Okay to Say No: Choosing Sexual Abstinence
by Eleanor Ayer
Discusses what abstinence means, the dangers of teenage sexual activity, the difficulty of choosing abstinence, and the advantages of abstaining from sex.