She likes him, he doesn’t like her, she might like him if he doesn’t like her, he doesn’t like anyone. You thought you understood how it all worked, but maybe you start to feel something different. A he likes a him, a she likes a her, or a he likes a him and a her.



It can be scary when you have unanswered questions and uncertain feelings about your own sexual identity. Is this okay? Who do I tell? Do others feel this way?



Around five to ten percent of the population identifies as LGBT. (Though, it’s difficult to get a solid number as there is some degree of self reporting and perhaps some reticence to answer truthfully when this question is asked.) You aren’t alone.



A lot of long strings of letters get thrown around when this topic gets brought up, so let’s define those letters first:



L for lesbian, G for gay – broadly referred to as homosexual. People who are attracted to people of the same sex (gay can be used for either a male or a female. Lesbian refers to just women.)



B for bisexual – Refers to someone who is attracted to both men and women.



T for transgender – Refers to someone who identifies with a gender other than the one associated with their anatomical sex. A transgender person can be straight, gay, or bisexual.



But it’s not that easy. A man named Alfred Kinsey came up with a scale to explain research that suggested people don’t neatly fall into one box. Check out this ​website for a better explanation on that. And there are tons of sexual orientations beyond LGB or T. The key is to be open minded.





But I'm straight! What should I know?​



Here are some numbers that might shock you:



• 80% of gay teens have been harrassed at school.
• Almost 90% hear the word "gay" used as a pejorative frequently.
• 20% have been physically assaulted at school.
• Between 7th grade and senior year, gay students are more than twice as likely to attempt suicide.

If someone comes out (makes it known that they identify as gay) to you, it's important that you respect them and their privacy and support them as best you can. Gay teens in a positive school environment are far less likely to experience negative consequences and feel better about themselves (as you might when you are not being torn apart for a basic unchangeable part of your being.) Consider becoming part of (or starting) a Gay Straight Alliance, or helping to create some known safe spaces.

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If you're looking for more information or resources, the Center for Disease Control's website has a lot of really useful stuff.